Friendship & Disappointment

Writing about disappointment is not easy.  It’s hard to face and harder to find the right words when you’ve disappointed someone. We’ve all done it and just want to push it to the back of our mind because it’s a haunting factor in many cases.  And today, I’m about to tell you a story where I disappointed a friend.  And I haven’t fully remedied the situation.

There is a woman who I met later in life that was a true kindred spirit.  I was in my mid-20s and she was in her early 30s at the time.  We both loved a fantastic pair of shoes, a funky accessory, and a stimulating conversation. And as women, we know it can be difficult later in life to find those kind of friends that understand us and shop with us like we were 16 years old again sipping on Orange Julius at the mall and figuring out what we would purchase at The Buckle.

(Thank goodness The Buckle obsession has now turned into a plethora of different fashion choices that we can lust over when we go shopping!!)

You know they completely accosted you when you walked into that store, right? You were setting your sights on all three or four levels of clothes hanging on the wall and they wanted to put you in a pair of Lucky jeans as quick as you could say Hello! back.

So yes, this woman was fantastic, she IS fantastic.  But I moved to Central Ohio and our phone conversations became more infrequent over time.  A one hour time difference can be hard on a good friendship.  So can a morning shift in TV news.  And even better yet, when you have one child and then… another. We would see each other when I went home, because she would demand that we get together over Starbucks (Orange Julius wasn’t even available again at any location like it is now.) I would love that she demanded that and we would have the best catch-up over a very short amount of time.  You know how it is when you go back to your hometown when you live out-of-state, you want to fit in time for everyone and it’s hard!!

I hope she doesn’t think I don’t think she’s still a great woman. She is.  And if she would happen to read this, I would hope she would hear how sincerely I wish that we have more time together to catch up. Her children are older, less “needy” if you will.  And maybe in a few years I’ll have some more time to breathe when mine are that age.

In the meantime, I hope for understanding. And that she knows she matters to me, even though life is chaos right now when you live on your own in a city with no family members.

As women, I think we need to gracefully accept each other where we are… acknowledging that there is no perfection when we’re balancing so much in our lives. We’re not meaning to disappoint.