We went down this path before, didn’t we? Or at least it feels like we did. But the perspective I’m supposed to write about today feels different. It makes my stomach drop and puts a knot in my throat when I stare it down.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
FDR said that how long ago and it remains true.
I’m terrible at change. As a matter of fact, it is one of the things I probably fear the most. And I have no clue where that started. I used to crave the thought of adventure when I was a kid.
Now… I get comfortable in the seat I’m sitting in, just like high school kids tend to go to the same seat in class every day even though they’re not assigned. For a long time I’ve given in, talking myself into loving situations and people for fear that I wouldn’t be able to find a different job or a new friend.
And I’m sitting here telling you… it’s not worth it. When you give into it, fear will come back to haunt you.
This challenge looks a little different than the others because we’re asked to get as creative with this post as we want. So I’ll get a little prosaic here and throw back to my poetry writing days to explain how fear and change are intertwined in my life, and how no matter what you or I fear– we can fight it or cleverly outwit it.
Ignoring it. It’s so easy to do. Just ignore it. Push it to the back after you’re frustrated with yourself. Only to know it will rear it’s ugly head again. There’s no stopping it until you encounter it, head on, no holds barred. But you still ignore it. You’ll deal with it later. Fear cuts into your soul and creates a long term home there where you ignore it. Packing up a house and moving everything you own, heading home again after years in the rear view mirror, going to the doctor when you’re confident something is wrong… it all takes courage. When did this change for you? For me? When did we stop dealing with what we fear head-on and instead burying it in that far away place, crossing our fingers and saying a prayer that we would never have to deal with it again? It started when we were children. Those small fears: snakes, spiders, water, and more taking up a sliver of space in our minds. As we are wounded in life, or forced into situations we don’t want to take part in, I believe our fears develop into larger themes and we have the tendency to bury them down deep. When we have to eventually deal with them we have made them larger than life and created unnecessary anxiety in our lives. We don’t have to live this way. We can fight fear or just surprise it– by naming our fears to each other and looking to one another for encouragement. It’s the human experience. To fear. But it doesn’t have to be a life sentence.